way too tired.

blow me.

Yikes...

I really, really hurt my back.

I'll be on spring break.

BITCHIN!

Barrios, send me some shroom growing ideas.
Maria, I am sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. I will come down during break and give you sushi.
Vanessa, happy bday bday bday!

Death Proof is kinda growing on me. I hated it when I saw it in the theater.

Thanks, Death Proof.

I, too, am Death Proof.

I look awful. This is not fishing for a compliment. This is a statement of fact. Even one of my professors remarked that I might need a little sleep. This is your fault, sir. Thanks for colluding with your professor pals in the department, making everything due in the same three days. I have to crank out nine pages right now after spending the last fourteen hours on campus. I've been sick since Thursday and I finally got some antibiotics today.

The only force keeping me relatively sane is Springsteen. My current Boss fixation centers around one key idea: how can someone who CLEARLY doesn't have a problem getting laid write such killer jams about rejection, frustration, and union-busting?

Top 10 Boss Songs:

10. Drive All Night
09. Glory Days
08. Highway Patrolman
07. His cover of Edwin Starr's "War" (live, of course)
06. Thunder Road
05. Tunnel of Love
04. Human Touch
03. Spirit in the Night
02. Badlands
01. Darkness on the Edge of Town

Tickets, dude. We need tickets.

Thank you Rhoda Morgenstern, I woke up in a good mood. Yesterday, I was in the car at 6 a.m. on my way to take the graduate writing proficiency exam. The test itself was a snap. Afterwards, I went to Build-a-Bear Workshop and made my mudda (that's Queens-speak for mother) a goofy bear in a poodle skirt and saddle shoes. Clearly, I did more with the rest of the day, but I took a couple xanax and forgot about it. Oh, I redecorated the fish tank and made Halloween cupcakes. Today will be devoted to my major Sunday rituals: getting my hair washed, getting my nails filled and airbrushed, and shopping at the 99 Cent Store.

Also, check today's paper. There is a 50% off any item coupon at Michael's. Score!

P.S. how much are the Emmy Awards going to blow tonight? Two and a Half Men? I've never met ANYONE who has ever copped to watching that shit.

Thursday, I stopped by the animal shelter to renew Mr. B's license and in a moment of total "blind-sided by cuteness", I adopted ANOTHER DOG. Her name is Molly and she's a chihweenie (chihuahua/dachshund mix) with cut vocal cords. We pick her up tomorrow and even though I have class until 8 p.m., I planned a tiny tea party for her so she could introduce herself properly to the Mystery Beast (Mr. B.) Of course, I spent the weekend personalizing a hideously tacky dog bag for her, buying her a dachshund-appropriate pea coat, and swiffering every possible surface of the apartment.

After punching myself in the head a few times for giving in to my massive do-gooder maternal urges, I somehow acquired this weird remorseless senility and BOUGHT A DAMN BETA FISH. Her name is Gladys and she just needed to break free from the Petsmart constraints. She'll have a tattoo and a boyfriend named Sharky within a few weeks. Trust.

This is definitely a reaction to Heather's scheduled c-section this week and my flaming lunatic schedule. Every minute I'm not at school this week, I'm either working, grading papers, attending ridiculous honor society meetings, or weeping...and going to temple because I am a Jew and that's what Jews do.

The girls (Blythe sisters, Genevieve and Emily) have been keeping me in stitches...in so many ways, man. I set up the sewing machine and started constructing a few dresses when I noticed that the episode of the Twilight Zone was on the tube, the episode where the DOLL KILLS PEOPLE. AARRGH. Luckily, I had so much cutesy material from Saturday's Methodist rummage sale, I could easily tame the girls' criminal urges with faaashhion.

A couple current projects: Ventura County Animal Regulation is in dire need of feeding/water bowls and dog blankets. I loaded up a bag of metal dog bowls and fleece baby blankets from Target and the 99-cent store and dropped it off. If you have some time, please help them out. You don't want puppies and kitties to freeze, right? Swing by 600 Aviation Drive in Camarillo. It's right next to the airport.

I also noticed that I was wasting a lot of toys and doll supplies while I was creating a wardrobe for my girls and going thrift crazy. Project Understanding in Ventura needs toys for homeless and at-risk boys and girls. I'm loading up all of my dolly spares and board games and taking them to ProjUn at 43 E. Vince Street off of Ventura Avenue. If you want to donate, let me know.

Not-so-charitable projects: screen capping, making greeting cards from "The Bad Seed" stills, Blythe wardrobe overhauling, finishing my Girl Scout badge lamp shade, doing some insane cake decorating....maybe sleeping. Who knows? Pictures soon!

shit, mang. school starts in a few hours and i am exhausted. i TA 3 units, take 17 more and then i have a full-time job ghost-teaching psych 202 online allll night long.

i'd really like some adderall.

however, not all things blow. angel gave me a great new haircut which makes me look like keith richards' love child. heather lao airbrushed my nails with zebra stripes and i topped it off with a mini-spree at forever 21 and a fresh pair of kicks.

my new schedule really intimidates me. hey other kids starting back up at state: GOOD LUCK TODAY!

(that means you, barrios.)

if anyone would like to get together for maybe a late lunch on friday, let me know. too tired to capitalize anything properly.

lots of love,

e

p.s. i am so excited about blythe, elizabeth! i am going to wire you the money in the morning.

but I want to be rich enough to have a butler who looks exactly like Alfred from Batman or Erich Von Stroheim in Sunset Boulevard who has to wear neon shades and coast around the house on a pizza-shaped skateboard. Whenever I wanted to hear "Appetite for Destruction," he would be completely ready and serve it to me (it's an LP in this vision) from a pizza box on a silver platter while saying, "Your appetite is served, madam."

today is my birthday! if you're in the area, my party (sorta) is at Cafe Fiore on the corner of California and Santa Clara at 7:30.

be there or be L7.

no gift required, just the presents of your presence...har har.

(however, if you show up with a penciled-on John Waters mustache, you never have to do anything nice for me ever again. seriously.)

IF WE ARE NOT FRIENDS ON MYSPACE....let me know

I need people to stalk because I am stuck in my house for the week.

just look up: http://www.myspace.com/wartooth

yeah.

my funeral is going to be the fucking bomb. it's going to be in that funeral home in oxnard where rival gangs shoot up the funerals of dudes they've already shot. it'll be really late at night and dimly lit. the services will be held by a man who holds a very close resemblance in looks and voice to morgan freeman, but he'll only have one eye. the other eye will be a milky glass eye which he may or may not magnify with a monocle. my family will be instructed to wail as mournfully as possible whenever morgan freeman II says my name. they should interject a lot of "oh laaaaaaaaaaawds" then my casket is wheeled in and i'm standing up in it. (well, propped up) and i've instructed the mortician to make me look as much like elvira as possible and i'm wearing a halter top that shows off the giant incisions where my organs were removed (closed up with gnarly staples and uneven stitches.)

then my casket lights up like a slot machine and my pre-recorded voice says "hey, if you got a five dollar bill taped under your seat, you've won a free lapdance at PJ Grunts off the 101 at Del Norte." naturally, everyone has a five dollar bill under their seats, so a lot of high fiving happens. then a couple krump teams run in from another room and start krumpin' and clownin' while my casket revolves around to petey pablo's "raise up"

yeah.

I start my MBA (Masters in Business Administration)on November 13th at the UCSB extension through AIU online.

Go me.

Happy birthday to me.
We're going to the King Tut exhibit in T-20.

ellie, is there any way you could get the name of the artist off of this page?

thank you!

http://www5d.biglobe.ne.jp/~fu-ko/illust.htm

i wish i read japanese.

I NEED A GMAIL INVITE STAT!
STAT!

Comment and be added since this is mostly friends-only.

XO,
E

the stones. the stooges. X. crass. t-rex. black flag.


everything else, mon ami, is obvious.
i believe in devolution and i love franz ferdinand even though they have absolutely nothing to do with world war one.

when I was a kid, I grew up listening to lots of motown and what ikea-shoppers call "world music." I really appreciate Persian and Latin music, especially the music of Pakistan and Brazil. Gilberto Gil and Caetano Veloso are my icons! Also, I grew up with a fierce appreciation of Yiddish cabaret and song and my favorite Yiddish performers (of yore) are The Barry Sisters, Molly Picon, and Jan Pierce. Currently, I really like Talila. She's French, check her out!


other freak machines: funkadelic, brian jonestown massacre (the sound of one giant revolutionary orgasm), comets on fire, caroliner, can, the standells, the amboy dukes (before nugent went all psycho), love, the nation of ulysses and to a lesser extent the make up and weird war, x ray spex, the seeds, os mutantes, the new york dolls, throbbing gristle, guitar wolf, roxy music, and low-era david bowie, the ronettes, ike and tina, the dandy warhols, cream, the YYYs, death comet crew, the beatles (everything from a hard day's night and beyond), liquid liquid, esg, sergio mendes, the faces, and all that jazz...



THE KINKS AND THE ZOMBIES....BRIAN WILSON....downers and My Bloody Valentine



i like the sound of people messing with instruments while on LSD or serious amounts of methamphetamines.

i like the sound of jack white beating the shit outta that guy.

i like the sound of victory.

Elliott Smith changed my life. When he died, I freaked out and wrote his memorial for our college paper. It was the sloppiest, sappiest thing I have ever written, but I still just don't know how to cope without him. Did we contribute to his death somehow?

MORE MORE MORE 'cos I'm all tweaked right now:

dusty springfield, captain beefheart, erma franklin, ananda shankar, huun-huur-tu, rosario flores, linda ronstadt, ronnie spector, os brazoes, the lowdown, echo and the bunnymen, those burt bacharach plays his hits albums, howlin wolf, the guess who, r.l. burnside, the weirdos, friends forever, that weird fucking music in fando y lis, smoosh, the black crowes' cover of "hard to handle", the flamin groovies, residual echoes of the great explosion....can't stop!!!